a man never marries the other woman

to the me that i flirt with when i am afraid,
just so we are clear:

when i am scared, i may come to you
but i am not yours.

yes, you are tempting
to fall into, but your interests are not
my best or highest interests
and i know this.

i may tease, i may even consider
trying you on
giving you all that i am
& all that i am becoming

but you will never own me.
you simply cannot hold all that is of me.
i am not yours and you are not for me.
but thank you, for you have never let me down.

never turning your back, despite knowing
that every time i arrive
on your doorstep
steeped in fear, you greet me

knowing that no matter how many glasses
of your reason and justification i drink,
no matter how naked i may sit in front of you
i am forever bound to walk away.

for i have met the fullness of my becoming
& a man never marries the other woman.

_____