the only way

How little I’ve changed over the landscape of my life. There has been a thread within me that has been constant, unchanging & unwavering & almost totally unnoticed.

How beautiful to find that steadiness within myself. The unconventional beat of my own heart, still beating.

&& the same desires held through time.

How has it taken me this long to see it? And more importantly, how might I know it, hold it and accept it? 

How can something so deeply rooted within me feel so fleeting? So subtle and elusive? as if one good glance would scare it away
(the wild animal in me).

Now, I know I must track it, coax it out of hiding and gently persuade it that it is safe. I’ll never harm or abandon or shun it again. I only want to know it, and provide for its deepest most needs and desires.

I only want to feed it, so that it may grow and be seen,
by the rest of the world, protected by me.

I am convinced now: this is how I am to be happy,
to be at ease, to be truly okay. 

This is the only way.