conflict resolution

i had a dream last night about the conflicts residing in our hearts. some sort of guide visited me, and I kept hearing the phrase:

the worst thing you can have is conflict in your heart.

a mentor told me this years ago. she said that it was her partner who bestowed these words of wisdom.

but last night in my dream, i think it was my mom repeating these words to me.

i thought about all the times i felt the questions:
should I stay or should I go?, this or that?.

and I wondered — does choice really offer relief, or is it only the right choice that relieves us?

i’ve felt plagued by the wrong choice (only once, maybe twice in my life so far) for entire years. perhaps that means i never actually chose at all, and/or the conflict was never resolved.

is it the choosing that resolves conflict,
or the acceptance of it?

there are so many points of conflict within me right now. it feels like i am being eaten away, from the inside.

why does it sometimes feel like doing what will make us happy will also doom us?

sometimes, it feels impossible.

i’ve been so contracted lately that most of my dreams feel impossible.
but i find myself taking action on them, anyway.